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Feeling Tired

Last week I worked four 12+ hour days. I keep scolding myself to quit internally complaining because, hello?!?! It is only a 7-8 wk job & I haven’t freakin’ worked since around Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to hear that voice of reason when you’re beyond tired.

Working with Karen again has been a much needed refreshing treat. Despite the hours and the somewhat manual labor involved in this job, her energy gets me through. In fact, I like everyone involved on this show so far. The producer is also very nice, which doesn’t happen as frequently as I would like.

I saw a basset hound today at the farmer’s market. It had one blue eye. I go crazy and cause a scene whenever I spot a basset ’round these parts. They seem to be a rarity in L.A. I had J take a picture on his iphone.

Now I’m doing laundry, and already dreading the long week ahead. Only seven weeks, only seven weeks.

Add a comment February 22, 2009

The Furry Friends Get Me Through the Day

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Sammy Pants

Check out Sammy on the fridge. It’s his new favorite napping spot, unless you count my bed! Without these cats, I think I would be going through a major bout of depression. When I’m home with them for most of the day, they make me laugh, get up and play, and keep me company all around. They even nap with me! I love these cats.

Bette has her napping spot too. It took about seven shots for this Bette pic to come out right. She’s not as photogenic as her boyfriend. She hates looking at the camera. She likes to do the kitty pretzel though. Oh, in case there’s any confusion, Bette is in the pic above, and Sammy is on the bottom.

1 comment February 10, 2009

Finally Letting It All Out

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Hope everyone had a nice holiday. Here’s a pic of an anonymous Korlina in Boston before I go off in a long post.

I haven’t been able to write in a while. This is probably because of  what has transpired during the last few months. In a nut shell, I was fired again. Yes, I saw it coming before it happened and, yes, I did not feel as bad about it the second time around. My shitty boss gave me a similar speech as the previous big boss with the irritating, “Well, I was fired before too!” The man went on to say that I was a good person,  it wasn’t personal, and that he needed someone who could do the very specific job. In other words, he wanted me to be a babysitter. I realize that that is what being an assistant is all about. I shouldn’t have taken the job in the first place. My patience with people in the workplace who don’t know how to wipe their own asses vanished long ago. I knew this boss was a bad apple when he had me plan his own son’s party the first week I was there. I could go on forever about this work experience, but I’ll stop before I discuss too many details.

I go devoting about an hour a day to the “job hunt,” but it’s so frustrating. Even the jobs I apply for that I know I am completely qualified do not lead to any phone calls. Instead of moping though, I’m enjoying being a stay at home mom to my kitties (don’t laugh). When I’m not dangling a new mouse toy in front of the cats I’m either watching QVC, watching the Dog Whisperer, reading mobster books, reading other peoples’ blogs, begging J to let me get a dog, cleaning the apartment, eating, or walking down the street to get an apricot iced tea at The Coffee Bean. Two things I haven’t been doing much of are drinking alcohol (I’m giving myself a gold star on this one) and sleeping. I blame the mobster books and late night documentaries on the latter.

As much as J wants me to get a job, he keeps commenting on how amazingly happy I am lately. I tell him I’m happy to not be working for such a-holes. Last night for what feels like the hundredth time, I couldn’t sleep. I finally confessed to J and, to myself, that I am afraid to work again. I am afraid every job from now on will go like the last two. J says I need to move forward. He says I can’t apply to jobs where I’ll be an assistant again. I know that this much is true, but I’m also scared that I won’t get any other types of jobs.

Most days, I want to move back to Boston to be closer to my family. I miss them terribly, and it breaks my heart  every time my mom cries when I leave after a visit. J doesn’t want to move out of L.A., away from his parents, at least not now. He also uses the annoying excuse that he can’t find good IT jobs outside of L.A. Conveniently, for me, my sis recruits for IT jobs in Boston, and that is clearly not the case. Even though J agreed to email my sis his resume, he’s insistent that right now is not the right time for him to be looking f0r other jobs. Even though this is true to a degree, it breaks my heart when my instints tell me that he may never leave L.A. for me.

J and the cats are all I’ve got in L.A. Friends have disappeared off the face of the earth, I have no job, and not even the constant sunshine can lift my spirits in terms of what Los Angeles has to offer the world. Leaving L.A. may be like running away, but I don’t care. I have had enough of this place. I have had enough of all the cut-throat jobs, how every day seems the same, (I want to experience four distinct seasons again) and phony friends.

I promised J that I wouldn’t move anywhere without him. We’re going to begin going on at least one day trip a month to get out of the hell hole that is L.A. I don’t have to live in New England again, but I want to be at least closer to my fam. Until J and I are on the same page, I suppose I’ll have to keep plugging away on my job search, try to seek out new friends, volunteer somewhere, (one of my New Year’s resolutions) and stop buying crap on QVC. Hell yeah, the flannel sheets are nice, comfy, and live up to the Quality, Value, Convenience motto, but that doesn’t mean I have to keep buying. Sigh. All right, gotta go get some apricot iced tea down the street. That time of day, y’all.

2 comments January 8, 2009

Maybe It’s Not Allergies

Or if it is only a case of allergies, then these are evil allergies! I woke up this morning feeling dizzy and achey all over. J also felt like crap. We both had been complaining about feeling run down the night before, but now we knew the reality of our situations… we had colds. It wasn’t something said aloud, but it was understood by our incessant moaning & extra fifteen minutes spent in bed this morning.

I downed two tall glasses of Emergen-C this morning, had some tea, AND a finished a whole bottle of Vitaminwater. I’ve been skeptical of Vitaminwater as of late thanks to Perez Hilton commenting on his blog that Vitaminwater is a high-calorie drink. Anyway, I didn’t care about this Perez Hilton opinion today because, hello, I’m sick, (or feeling as such). My mom always told me to fill up on liquids when a bad cold struck and, I hate to admit it, but my mom is usually always right. 

As far as the gym tonight is concerned? I don’t think so. What’s nice about feeling under the weather is that you don’t feel as guilty about not going to the gym enough. Anyway, I hope to just get through this day. Although it’s a light day work-wise, it’s still a challenge to function right now. Grrrrr, I want my usual Korlina energy back!

Add a comment August 21, 2008

New Job & Flashback

I started a brand new job on Monday. It’s the first job I’ve ever had in L.A. where I don’t have to be glued to my desk all day long. I can take lunch! I can even go on errands on my own free time! Oh, and one of my very great friends, Bri, got my foot in the door with an interview. Guess what else? She works here too! It’s comforting to have a friend at work. I owe her many margaritas!

The highlight of my job (so far) occurred on the very first day. I attended my first Monday meeting. At my new job, these meetings happen every Monday. We all ate a CPK lunch and, after the meeting was through, everyone… EVERYONE… picked up after themselves. I had never witnessed any such thing at any of my other jobs. Either myself, or the PA’s, had to pick up after everyone else. Ahhhh, it’s nice to not be treated like a slave anymore.

Now, about my flashback moment this morning. On my way into work, I caught I glimpse of a familiar sight out my rear view mirror. This familiar sight was wearing a recognizable green and purple button-down top. “Ah! I know who THAT is!” I exclaimed.

For a second, I wanted to turn my car around and yell out his name. Then the logical Korlina (if indeed a logical Korlina even exists!) decided that that would not be the wisest thing to do on a busy street. Instead, I laughed to myself. It was the location manager of one of my past gigs. The location manager who was always pacing around with his permits. There he was, near my new stomping ground, same as he was; same as he’ll always be. This guy had the BIGGEST crush on me a mere year ago. Although he embarrassed me constantly in front of my co-workers with his love for me, (yes, I’m being mildly sarcastic) I was always flattered by the attention. I hope that he’s doing well. A part of me hopes that he’ll swing open my new office’s doors one fine day, location permit in hand, and be his old flirty self.

I suppose my post today is about starting fresh, but appreciating some of the good memories from old jobs. You sometimes just have to dig a little harder to get to those memories, (at least in my case). Either that, or a crazy location dude with a green and purple shirt will remind you of them.

Add a comment August 7, 2008

Out of Control

As I’m typing this post, I still know that I’m not completely letting go. As in, I’m not completely letting go of the things in life that I know are out of my control.

The first time I ever “felt” an earthquake was in upstate New York, where I went to college. My sister and her BFF were visiting. I remember we had a great time. I remember that they both were constantly sporting their respective college shirts for the colleges they would be attending in the fall. I remember how we laughed and laughed in my dining hall. I remember the earthquake. Oh, and did I mention that this earthquake was a small rumbling? Just the same, I let Jenny (my sister’s BFF), and my sister share my bed that night. I slept on an air mattress in my roomie’s half of our split double. Did anyone else out there have split doubles in college? Those rooms, I’ve decided in my old age, were the best.

Moving right along, the small rumbling I felt against the ArrowBed felt exciting. I wasn’t scared, just curious. That was not the case for Jenny and my sis, however. They dashed over to the second half of the split double. “WHAT WAS THAT?” they cried in unison. Kristen, my roommate, tossed in her sleep. She had slept through the whole damn thing. Me? I was lost for words. I had definitely felt something. I just didn’t know how to articulate the feeling. Nevertheless, I was still in control as I answered, “Ummm, it must have been a very small earthquake!” ‘Cause, really, what else could it have been? Jenny and Lil Sis seemed content with my answer. Content with a dash of wonder. Their eyes lit up. They thought the whole thing was “cool.” I plopped back onto the Arrowbed, muttering “high school.”

Yesterday was a different story. It wasn’t just a small rumbling beneath an air mattress. Yesterday I experienced my first California earthquake. Yes, I know that I’m a sissy. Yes, I know that I panic in “panic situations.” Yes, I know my mom and extended family have been pleading with me since I moved out here to get the hell outta earthquake country. As a matter of fact, just this past Christmas, Uncle Marc announced theatrically, “It’s coming!” Since I have a one-track mind, I pondered aloud, “What? The bread puddin’?” He laughed fake nervously, “Why… no… the… earthquake.” Oh, and for good measure, “Ah, the earthquake that’s going to happen any day now in California, where you live, Korlina!”

I thought, for God’s sake. Now I no longer had visions of bread pudding dancing through my head, but visions of vodka. Way to get my mom going, Uncle Marc. Thanks to Uncle Marc’s instigation, my mom compiled a verbal list of reasons why I should NOT live in California in front of all the Christmas Eve guests. Of course, the earthquakes were somewhere near the top of the list. I weakly stated that natural disasters can occur anywhere, but no one cared to listen. Everyone was focused on my mom. What can I say? She’s entertaining. I gave up and decided to go play poker with my little cousin. I remember losing with pocket aces. What can I say? Bad beats.

Ahem, getting back to yesterday, (before I dwell too much on past Christmases), I had just finished a VERY early lunch. Since becoming unemployed, I eat my lunches earlier and earlier. Probably ’cause of boredom? Suddenly, I felt a violent shake under me. Sammy, the cat, began to stir in the chair to my right. I keep trying to go back to the moment when it happened. I keep trying to fetch what was going on through my mind in those mere 20 seconds. I knew it was an earthquake. However, I think that there were a few seconds there, in the very beginning, that I didn’t know what was happening. I went over to Sammy, somehow balanced, although I felt like I was on stilts, and rested my hand on his back. Then, I thought of BetteBoop in the next room. I’ve been keeping the cats separated because Sammy has a bad case of eye herpes that I don’t want Bette to contract. In the fleeting moments of the quake, I didn’t care anymore about the cats having to be separated. I ran to get Bette, and the cats joined together. They licked each other, consoled each other. The shaking stopped.

Yeah, it was only a 5.4 quake, but it still got to me. J made the point to me today that he’s so used to quakes that the thoughts of ice storms and black ice traumatize him. “It’s all about what you’re used to,” I contended. And it is. It really is. Just the same, I don’t ever want to get used to earthquakes. That jarring feeling of being so out of control really got to me yesterday. Not only me being out of control, but everyone being out of control. Nature is the house, just like in a casino. It always wins, and it certainly doesn’t care about “bad beats.”

An hour after the quake hit, I went down to check my mail. Still, no damn unemployment check. My neighbor who lives downstairs, an artsy girl who lent me an art book once, came up next to me. She asked me about where I was during the quake. I told her in my apartment with my cats. She laughed. She told me she was in her car. At first she thought someone had hit her. I laughed. We were two girls full of nervous laughs. Quakes can do that. She went on to say that her airbag had almost gone off.  Artsy neighbor then said something that was so profound. She said, “This is nature’s way of telling us something. Everthing [in nature] has been quiet for so long. Nature wants us to listen.”

Back in my apartment, the cats were busy fighting. Playful fighting, but still. Just as I was about to put Bette back in her designated room of separation, I thought, this is out of my control. Sammy might have a bad, contagious eye thing, but he and Bette don’t want to be separated. They want to be together. Thus, I let them go at it, and not in a sexy way. They played and played, overjoyed to not have to be separated any longer.

If I’m stuck in an earthquake again, or a (gasp!) more extreme one, I have to let things be. I’ll still comfort the cats if I’m with them, and kiss J if he’s nearby, but I can’t panic. Whether it be an earthquake, or anything else, I have to be ready. It’s just like what Uncle Marc said last Christmas… “It’s Coming!”

Add a comment July 30, 2008

Jeff from “Flipping Out”

Jeff from “Flipping Out” really sucks. I’m watching this damn show, (what can I say? I’m a Bravo junkie!), and shudder whenever he utters a word. He reminds me of BigBoss who just fired me. Anal guy, treats his assistants like shit, (ummm, they don’t exactly deserve it, but they do mess up something for the company in every scene), tells nasty jokes, admits he has no life, spies on people, (BigBoss used to go through things on my desk), acts like what he’s doing (real estate) is the most crucial job in the whole wide world, needs therapy on a daily basis, talks to everyone around him in the most condescending tone, doesn’t trust a soul, and is crazy competitive. I’m out of breath!

The one and only good trait I can see in Jeff, if you exclude the fact that he is good at what he does, is that he loves animals. Anyway, I thought I’d just write this post to exhale a little. I’m so glad that I’m no longer working for a guy like Jeff, even if that means I’m not working at all. Sigh.

In more exciting/uplifting news, J and I are going out for sushi tonight for our friend’s birthday extravaganza. Yay! Oh, and you do saki bombs, and dance on your chair at this joint. Score! Also, Bri and I are going to start a running routine, (I guess I should say we’re “training,” but I hate that word), so that we can race in a 6 mile Nike marathon. I’m looking forward to getting back into running. I’ve been such a friggin’ slacker. Shameful, because I really adore running for exercise. It makes me feel good. Just knowing that I’m about to get back into a running routine makes me feel better already!

3 comments July 19, 2008

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To! (One day late)

My birthday was yesterday, so this post is old. Somehow, I just didn’t have the time to hit “publish.”

Today is my birthday. This is probably the cliche thing that everyone says when they feel themselves truly getting older, but each birthday is a little less significant for me. In other words, every year, it doesn’t seem like my birthday on my actual birthday a ‘lil bit more than the year before. I’ve devised a list of reasons why today REALLY doesn’t feel like it’s my birthday…

1. I’m new at work. Yeah, it’s my VERY first week. No way am I, or will I ever be, the kind of girl who’s going to announce to an office of strangers “HEEEY, EVERYONE, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!” and twiddle my thumbs at my desk all day, anxiously awaiting my vanilla-frosted birthday cake. That’s just… eh, way tacky. It’s something you’re only comfortable doing after at least one month. Ahem

2. I opened my boyfriend J’s birthday gift last week. Hence, I won’t be opening any presents on my actual birthday… tear. I knew this very well at the time I opened J’s present, but the two vodka tonics I had just guzzled were in no mood to listen to Korlina. Grrrr.

3. I’m stuck at work, (I feel like my birthday never lands on a weekend. Ridiculous of me to think that, but still) in an igloo of an office. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this in the blog, BUT I.hate.the.cold! This place is way too heavily air-conditioned for my thin blood. Even my boss who insists on keeping this place his own little Antarctica, is consistently rubbing his hands together to stay warm, and lets out a “BRRRRRRR” about every 5 seconds. Make sense to you? Makes no sense to me either.

4. BetteBoop threw up again last night. Thoughts of her being sick again float through my head, and make me lose my appetite. Sigh.

5. Ooops, #5 is going to be a huge contradiction because, lo, Nate (good friend) sent me gorgeous flowers. Now my cheeks are red because everyone in this office of strangers now knows it’s my birthday.

Okay, now it really does feel a little bit more like my birthday 🙂

Add a comment June 13, 2008

BetteBoop’s Okay

After a large dosage of antibiotics, nearly $600 in vets bills, too much drinking, (me, not Bette) and more tears than I’ve cried in a long, long time (Linda Ronstat song… anyone? anyone?) BetteBoop is eating again. In fact, she began her wet food binge last Wednesday night. The sound of her eating the food on that night, her barely audible nibbles, for the rest of my life I’ll always remember as one of the best sounds I’ve ever heard. Amen. More to come…

2 comments June 10, 2008

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Since I’ve been drinking myself silly all weekend long, I’m promising myself that I won’t be drinking any margaritas tonight. I need to give my body a break from the booze. Yeah, I know, we’ll see how long this lasts. Depending upon how my day goes, who knows, by this evening I may be downing the bottle of Petron my bf bought yesterday at Sam’s Club.

Sorry I lied in my last post. Obviously, I wasn’t a woman of my word & decided not to write about how much I want a basset hound in a 2nd post dedicated to the subject. Why? Honestly, it’s just impossible to have a doggy right now & it makes me depressed to think about how I can’t have a ‘lil basset pup in my life at the moment. Sigh.

We’re on hiatus at work until Wednesday and, man oh man, the paint on the wall can’t dry fast enough! It’s nice to have some time to recoup, don’t get me wrong, but this is boredom on a whole new scary level. I used to be, back in the day, the kind of [little] girl who could entertain herself easily, any time of day. I would go hunt for treasures in the woods of my backyard, read another edition of “Sweet Valley Twins,” would raid my mom’s jewelry drawers and pretend to be a QVC host, and would make believe I ruled my very own land in my father’s garden. Yup, I would boss around all the porcelain gnome figurines that lingered between the rhododendron and the tomatoes that never compared to the tomatoes of our Italian neighbors. If only I had a little gnome garden at work. Although some would argue I do a pretty good job bossing around real actual people. Anyway, I’m just a girl rambling & wishing she was a lil girl again ’cause ohhhh the boredom!

I played flip cup at my friend’s Cinco de Mayo extravaganza this weekend. Really and truly, I haven’t lost my college day skill at the game. Not surprisingly, I haven’t had so much fun at a party since college! No, there weren’t any Skinny Girl Margaritas at the party, but there were plenty of frozen strawberry margaritas, a variety of Mexican beers, homemade Mexican food, and watermelon balls containing some kind of alcohol. By the time I got home, I wasn’t able to stand on my own two feet very well. According to J, I kept tumbling down. Apparently, he even had to carry me back from our dive seafood restaurant. Oh, yeah, and did I mention that I probably ate my body weight in Mexican food, watermelons, and then later seafood? No? Well, true story. Next weekend I’ll stick to Skinny Girl Margaritas… the real thing, not Mexicali ones.

3 comments May 5, 2008

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